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Author Topic: I can't focus  (Read 6363 times)

gnosis

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I can't focus
« on: January 21, 2015, 02:09:34 AM »

I can't focus I can't follow thru on shit!!!!!!!  I feel like I want to start or even do start a million things but
finish none.  I am a mess and I don't know what to do about it.  My mind pulls in 100000000000000000 directions
at one time. 
« Last Edit: March 29, 2015, 01:07:44 PM by gnosis »
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Frog Pajamas

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Re: I can't focus
« Reply #1 on: January 21, 2015, 03:11:40 AM »

Gnosis, man, so sorry you're going through a tough time. Is there anything I do anything to help?
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Ian Morris

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Re: I can't focus
« Reply #2 on: January 21, 2015, 03:56:44 AM »

I absolutely relate to being pulled in 1000 directions at once. 

You cannot underestimate the value of setting goals and following through.  Anyone can say things like, "I wish I could run a 1/2 marathon this year."  Only the person who puts their goals in the front of their mind will accomplish this.  Most people fail because they don't focus on their goals, they put them away and focus on the day to day humdrums, sometime the excuses are legitimate but no goal gets accomplished without a effort. The second reason people fail in their goals is they don't set realistic goals, running a marathon next year might not be doable for you but you can get into running and do a 10 K instead, the marathon makes a great goal for next year after a year of smashing personal distance records.  When people don't plan on how they intend to accomplish goals they are just wishes, wishes are for little kids and genies.  Set goals and have a concrete plan on getting there.  The final way goals fail is they are hard.  Having a vision and putting forth the effort is difficult and you WILL fail on some things.  You can't give up and you can't just change goals because moving goal posts only works for government officials and Bill Belichick, its useless setting goals when they are meaningless.  Constantly re-evaluate the goals and your progress, hold yourself accountable but most of all don't be afraid of failure.

Here is what I do twice a year;  I have three categories, personal, physical, and professional (other categories are definitely possible, the point is where do you want your life to go instead of being pulled, TAKE CONTROL of your energy and effort), for each category I set long term, intermediate and short term goals.  Keep the long term goals all year and the intermediate goals should be around six months, the short term goals should be accomplished in as little as a day or two up to six months.  Put these goals on index cards in an order that works for you and use the rest of the card space to think of ideas and plan just EXACTLY how you reach that particular goal.  Then don't put them away for six months, spend time every day reading and reflecting.  This is the only way I get anything done, I read them as a I get ready for the day and then my sore back and thighs remind me that Im not going to get back into the 1000 pound club skipping the gym today.  Sometimes this reflection is important because new ideas on how to attain the goal will come to me and I can add them to the card.  READ them everyday. 

Thats enough of personal goal coach, Ian Morris.
Now for Ian Morris, friend and fellow Seedian.

Shit man, I haven't had the most interaction with you here but from what I have seen you have a keen wit and are always there with a great joke.  I value humor and would gladly have a beer with you.  Most of all, don't sweat things you have no control over and instead focus on what you need to accomplish.  Ignore all the BS and the haters.  It seems like your issue is follow through, set small yet easily achievable goal (something like having a meaningful conversation with your wife each night for a week) and power through, you will be surprised how far this momentum can take you. 

Seriously man, if you need anything or more information about my personal technique PM me. 
-Ian Morris


I will leave you with a quote I read every day, its on my mirror with two others.

"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily."
Zig Ziglar

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New Wisdom

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Re: I can't focus
« Reply #3 on: January 21, 2015, 05:23:04 AM »

Sorry to hear you're going through troubles gnosis.  I can relate to not knowing how to proceed. Having way too many goals and that sort of thing.  Or setting the bar too high for myself.  Like Ian said sometimes you have to lighten the load for yourself.  Put easily achievable goals in front of you (write them down even) and plan rewards for yourself when you achieve them.  Even if they're small accomplishing them will boost your self esteem and give you motivation to move onto even bigger steps.

Is there a specific end result you're looking to attain?  Better income, getting closer to your family, ect...? 

Hang in there my friend!
New Wisdom
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gnosis

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Re: I can't focus
« Reply #4 on: January 21, 2015, 05:30:33 AM »

Thank you Froggy, you are an awesome person and I will def be hitting you up soon on PM to
vent a little.

Ian I really want to thank you very much for taking the time out of your day to reach out and
give me some good info.  I did a couple cards just now and will be using the technique everyday as
prescribed.  Seriously though thank you and what's crazy is that I love Zig Ziglar, I'm a salesman
and I was just studying some of his stuff on persuasion.  I do have a lot of stuff on my plate right now
and I just need to figure it all out and come out intact. 


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Ian Morris

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Re: I can't focus
« Reply #5 on: January 21, 2015, 06:32:02 AM »

GOOD LUCK brother, I know you can do it.  Seriously feel free to ask anything, worst I can say is no.  You already know that as a salesman...

Seriously Zig Ziglar is the man.  I purchased my first car from a guy that left a whole tape series in the glove box.  Exposed me to a whole world of thinking I never considered before.  I listened to them and was instantly amazed.  I sell my services but at heart and often by profession I have been in sales, its tough but damn fun stuff. 

Keep it up and let us know how it goes.
-Ian
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Skautroll

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Re: I can't focus
« Reply #6 on: January 21, 2015, 01:09:53 PM »

Have you ever done tests for ADHD?

Me and my father got a lot in common with what you describe, we just got diagnosed about 1.5 year ago. It was a very long fight to get a proper neurological screening and get the diagnosis confirmed, they don't give them out easy over here.

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Frog Pajamas

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Re: I can't focus
« Reply #7 on: January 21, 2015, 03:11:59 PM »

Have you ever done tests for ADHD?

That occurred to me too. They definitely didn't keep an eye out for that when we were kids like they do now.

Otherwise, one surefire way to help your focus is to meditate. It's hard to get started doing it and keep at it in the beginning, especially with a scattered mind, but it does help if you can sit for 20 minutes several times a week. Recent studies with MRI show it actually helps increase grey tissue in the brain in areas associated with focus, and there are a ton of other side benefits like increased clarity and emotional stability.

Yoga helps too, and is easier to get to a focused state for most people with active minds. I can honestly say that along with the plants, yoga was the one thing that helped release me from some very unhealthy mental patterns and a bunch of really negative shit from my earlier life when I made lots of bad decisions, and having gotten into a meditation practice is furthering those goals.

I realize it might be out of character for you to try either practice, but I'd be happy to give you some pointers if you want to try. I attached a document on a basic meditation practice that a friend sent me when I was starting that I found helpful.

And of course my door is always open just for venting or talking.   :)
« Last Edit: January 21, 2015, 03:14:36 PM by Frog Pajamas »
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gnosis

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Re: I can't focus
« Reply #8 on: January 22, 2015, 12:34:19 AM »

Thank you everyone, I am sorry for spilling this soap opera stuff
onto our awesome little forum, I had a moment of weekness and
it will not happen again.  Thanks for the concern.
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